Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hate At The Library

Needed to get my Resume printed, so I decided to go to the libray. Public place, seem normal to go in, print my resume and fax it.

Little old lady doesn't seem to make this a easy task. First I get no help to get the resume printed, then she fax it with patients unknown. Well after about 45 minutes of being in the library to print one resume and fax 1 resume, finally completed my task.

Does people just HATE other people for no reason? This lady was at least 60 years old, grow up.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

2007 Racism ?? What?

Today I was needing to get a resume printed and faxed, sounds like a easy task.. Well not for the local White people in Shelbyville TN. Don't get me wrong... I am talking about the 2 White people that were working in the "The Express" in shelbyville TN. It is a small printing company the basically copies what Kinkos or some other print shop does.

I walk in and ask the lady (Looked like she was in her late 40's but had alot of make-up on) if she could check my Thumb Drive and print the Resume on it, and then fax it to a Number. She looks to the other employee and ask him to do it and he says, he is to busy, and.. he waits about 10-15 seconds to say the same thing, he is Busy and the Computer is busy. ??? So the lady turns to me and says what he just said, "The Computer is busy, we are just busy right now.. " ?? Are you kidding me? is what I thought...

Ok normally if a small business is busy, they don't want to lose business so they will let you know to come back in 10 minutes or something like that, but all i got was... We are busy.. .. .. .... .. ... ... Seriously, come one people.. I, look black, but then again I look Mexican, plus I was wearing my Afro that day.

What gives man, what gives. Many will say, "That is not racism", but that is..... it is what you call.. Indirect Racism... when I walked in the lady didn't think much about me, but the guy made a decision to help when he looked up and saw who I was.

2007 and people still act this way, Damn Shame.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

1 Man Show

Just had my ear blown off again... sometimes I can't understand.

Why am I trapped in this body, can't get free and always to blame. Should blame myself, everything I have gotten myself into, is my fault.

If I don't post anything else, it is because I am either locked up in jail or dead.

But time to make this a 1 man Show.

If someone reads this, please pray that I get threw this.

Ever Wanted to quit?

Have you ever wanted to quit anything?? I bet you have.. and either you did quit or you kept going.

I sometimes feel I have so many good things going for me but yet, I am still standing in the same spot. I am learning that you can't really depend on another to get you to place you really want to be, you have to get there all by yourself. people may support you and say they will help, but you are alone most of the time, mentally. Physically, you have people around you, to make you laugh, cry, pat you on the back or even to take from you. If you quit, you quit on yourself and not anyone else, so why would someone quit anyway?

I have quit a few things in life and they must have been little important because i can't remember what they were, but I have quit before. I have wanted to throw in the towel on life at many times, but I would still be right here. So would quiting change anything? I believe quiting something could effect some people around you, but it would not be the end of the world. You could keep going and not quit, would that help any? I don't like to quit, but there are times I just get tired... maybe I should ask.. Should I let me wanting to quit hurt or effect another person? I believe not, if quiting will hurt another than you should not, but if quiting effects you alone then make your call. You would only hurt yourself.

Suppose I will continue doing what i can, God never quits on me, so maybe I should not quit on God. The world is a battle field and I will make sure I get the last shot.

Could A Dream Come True?

Have you ever had an idea that you have seen work for others but you can't seem to get it going or get it into play?? Yea, Happens to me all the time.

I have been blessed with so many talents that i have no idea what I should invest in...

Computers, Drawing, Music, Writing, Singing, mechanic, Art, Ministry, ... Well, honestly, Computers have been my forefront for a long time now and I am currently in school for my Diploma in computers.

Maybe I am afraid to invest the time into other adventures while I attack my Schooling in computers. My Girlfriend has a very talented voice in singing, but could I possibly help? I am clueless. In my future I want to be set financually and have a good place of living.. am I wrong for that? Seems the world is holding me back, but maybe I am holding myself back.

Both Sides of the Fence

How can a person feel like they are on both sides.. good/evil... God/Satan... happy/sad.

it seems i have been all over the yard on both sides, I can't win for losing and can't lose for winning. I run the streets, been in church, I have helped people when no one else would, i have turned my back on people. I feel as when I am doing good things, helping others, in the church, I still feel (Keep in mind, I FEEL) like I am doing wrong, not helping, or something is not right.

When I am doing wrong and I know it, I still feel as God has not left me, and I have a fighting chance for something good, but yet knowing, I am not even close to goodness.

When I smile, and am sad, and when I am sad, I seem to be smiling on the inside.

I have heard people talking about.. "You can't straddle the fence, but sure feels like I jump over it all the time.

I wonder when my big break in life will be... I see people on TV, radio .. Celebs they may be called, some work for what they have, some just was in the right place at the right time.

For anyones information, I would prefer to be on the good side of the fence... United states.. yea, ok.. I haven't had a united experince in my life sense I was born, no help no anything.

I have had help in the small things, but Nothing major.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Just getting started..

I have really done my best to be the best for my children.

I will speak for myself, and only my self. From my child hood, threw school, military, college, and just plain roaming, everything has ended in complete, Disapointment.

Amazing how very few words that hold little meaning don't really mean anything to anyone, but let a specific word be said and everyone has something to say. Rich gets richer, poor just simply stay poor and die off.

I'll Speak For Myself. Please come and visit, I will have plenty to be said and I am sure to raise a few eyebrows.